I need more sleep.
It's that simple.

With R.C. working in his studio until well after midnight each night and the boys waking up early each and every morning, I am not sure how I should handle my time. The past weeks (months) I have been trying to stay up and see R.C. when he gets home from the studio since this is usually the only time I get to see him each day. That means I stay awake until after midnight. Then I also have the boys who wake up early and need breakfast, so obviously I need to get up and be with them.

I thought I had been doing quite well with pretending I was well rested and keeping myself going through each day, but today I was told differently. Russell asked me how I got a black eye. He wondered, in fact, how I got 2 black eyes. I couldn't think of any time in the past days when I may have been bumped or hit in the eyes, so I went to the mirror to investigate. Sure enough, the bags and dark circles around my eyes are very bad. They can no longer be hidden away by a few dabs of makeup and a smile. As we go into the season of glitter and lights, I look like a creepy left over Halloween decoration. Thank you Russell for pointing this out for me. I have realized that I can no longer do it all. I can't please everyone at all hours of the day/night.

So from this night forth, I am going to go to bed at a decent time. Since I have to pick between the boys in the morning, or R.C. late at night, it's a no brainer that the boys take priority (since in some areas they are not self sufficient yet). Sorry R.C. for not even trying to wait up for you. I will see you when I am rested and you have a day off.